Salamandrine
by ekc293
Summary: "It was a scary thing, facing death without their partner standing by their side." Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Because I felt the need to rip my heart into pieces.  
And I just finished Fahrenheit 451. Which really has nothing to do with piece... other than I got the title from it.

* * *

_It was a pleasure to burn_

* * *

"Castle, what's going on up there?"

She should be there with him.

That's the only thought she had as she stood outside with Ryan and Esposito, the patrol cars around her flashing their lights across the darkened streets. There was an ambulance somewhere by her side, a fire engine near the edge of the growing crowd.

She watched the line of people march out of his building, most dressed in their pajamas and looking annoyed at the inconvenience of leaving their homes for the night.

She took a deep breath to calm herself, feeling Ryan and Esposito shift by her side. She closed her eyes in agony.

The boys still didn't know. At least… she thought they didn't know. The looks that they're sending her and each other make her think that they knew the moment there was a shift in their relationship, that the subtle touches by the murder board and showing up to the precinct only minutes apart and stolen kisses in her Crown Vic didn't go unnoticed by her fellow detectives.

His voice came back through the phone.

"I can see it," he said, and Kate felt her heart start beating faster in her chest, "It's on top of the door."

She looked over to the side and saw the bomb squad suiting up.

"Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"Does it look like it's connected to anything? Any wires running from it that you can see?"

She heard a creak on the other side of the line and a shot of panic ran through her veins.

"Don't go near it, Castle!"

"I can't see from where I am!"

"Rick, don't move!" she screamed.

He could sense her panic, hear her desperation. He didn't like this any more than she did, but he knew exactly what she was feeling.

It was a scary thing, facing death without their partner standing by their side.

And he'd been in this very situation before.

"Alright, alright…" he said, his own voice calming down, "I… yes. There's a wire that leads down to the door handle. It looks like a trip."

She turned to the head of the bomb squad and told him what Rick had just told her. He nodded, apparently he already knew that.

God, she felt so useless.

"Martha and Alexis are still out?"

He hummed into the phone.

"Mother's staying at her school tonight and Alexis left this morning for California."

She already knew that. He told her they would be gone for the night (Alexis for the week).

She already knew that because she was supposed to go home with him _because_ there was nobody in the loft. She was supposed to be with him right now, but she was tired, and moody that their most recent case with the bomb set in an anchorwoman's apartment was going nowhere that she snapped at him, told him to go home by himself and then sat at the murder board by herself until she got a call from dispatch.

She thought that dispatch had accidentally called the wrong number - why was she being informed about a bomb threat? Until it killed someone, it wasn't supposed to be her concern.

Until she heard the address.

She arrived in no time, the gumball on top of her car and her siren blazing. When she arrived, there were officers already on the scene, a police line on the side of the street opposite of his building, trying to keep onlookers back. Ryan and Esposito showed up only minutes later, as did the bomb squad, and really, how had she managed to get there before the people that were supposed to get him out of there? Gates showed up a few minutes later, demanding to know what was going on, and then he had called her.

Had she really only been outside for ten minutes?

It felt like the hostage situation at the bank all over again. But this was worse, so much worse, because they were together, and dammit, she was supposed to be in there. Maybe she would've noticed what was different, that someone had been in there. Maybe if she was there they wouldn't have gotten far enough into the loft to begin with so he never would've shut the door before they noticed the bomb was in his bedroom, his bedroom where the windows opened five stories up to nothing but open air - his bedroom, where she should be with him, if not thinking of a way to get him out than at least being able to comfort each other in person until help finally arrived.

He had already told dispatch exactly what the bomb looked like. The bomb squad had heard of the design, but it wasn't one they had seen used successfully. It was the same kind that had been at the previous crime scene. The bomb was set on the inside of an open door. When the door was closed, the timer began, the trigger put in place. Then, the time would either run out and the bomb would explode or some other outside force would set it off, such as turning the door knob.

The bomb squad called it ingenious. She swore that when they caught the bastard that did this, she would make sure that he never breathed air outside of a prison cell again.

Ryan and Esposito had called and warned the others in the precinct, including Lanie and Perlmutter, warning them to be careful so everyone, instead of risking going home (for those who were not already there), had simply come out to stand with them outside of Rick's loft. With the boys on her right, Lanie stood at her left, her hand on Kate's arm since her earlier outburst, Jenny perched behind Ryan, looking at the scene with horror, Gates somewhere behind them, talking to the chief of the fire department.

"How much time, Castle?" She asked, trying to keep her voice even.

"20 minutes," he said. She could tell by his tone that he was starting to get nervous.

Kate swallowed.

"The squad's getting ready to come up,"

She could practically hear him nodding on the other side.

"Good," he murmured, "good."

Kate took a deep breath.

"Did you call them?"

"Call who?"

"Martha and Alexis."

"No."

His tone left no room for argument, and she knew she shouldn't have asked. But maybe he should say goodbye. At least, tell them that he loved them one last time…

No, stop.

She couldn't afford to think that way.

"You're going to be fine," she assured him, "Everything's going to be fine."

"Of course," he said unconvincingly.

"I mean it," she said forcefully, "even if I have to go up there and disarm that bomb myself."

He scoffed teasingly.

"You think you could disarm a bomb?"

"I mean it can't be that hard," Kate said, smiling, "You've done it once."

He laughed in her ear.

"Anything I can do you can do better."

Kate smiled, glad that both of them seemed to be relaxing.

"Well… maybe not everything."

"Oh yeah? And what might I be better at?"

"You're a better writer."

"Cop out," he said, but she could hear the smile, "Doesn't count."

"You're a better cook."

"I've had more time to practice," he insisted.

"You're more selfless than I am."

"Completely false," he said vehemently, "I am the most selfish man in the world. As evidenced by the way I wormed myself into your life."

"Are you just going to shoot down every nice thing I say?" She asked, her tone teasing.

"Only the things that aren't true," he said.

"Okay then…" Kate said, "… what do you think you're better at?"

"I'm better at laser tag."

Kate scoffed.

"It's true! You're so used to a real weapon. You're too cautious."

Kate pursed her lips.

"Please don't do that."

She startled, "Do what?"

"That thing that you do with your lips when you don't want to admit that I'm right that I know you're doing right now."

Kate couldn't help it, she laughed.

"And why can't I do that? You can't even see me."

"But I can_ picture_ it," she heard him whine, "And when you do that, all I want to do is kiss you."

Kate smiled into the phone.

"I love your smile," he said.

She looked back up at his building, narrowing her eyes at the window she knew was his office.

"Are you sure you can't see me?"

"No, Detective," he said, the smile clear in his voice, "I just know you."

"Yeah…" she said, "Yeah, you do."

Silence settled over the two of them for a moment. Kate heard the sound of the bomb squad making their final preparations to go up towards the loft.

"I'd let you, you know," she said softly.

"Let me what?"

"Kiss me."

She ignored the sharp glances from the others, listening to him inhale on the other line.

"In front of everyone?"

"In front of everyone."

"But –"

"I'm pretty sure they've figured it out…" Kate murmured, still ignoring the others, "I'm not doing a very good job at hiding it right now."

"Kate –" he started.

There was a loud click on Rick's side of the conversation.

Kate stiffened, standing up straighter.

"Castle?"

No response.

"Castle, are you there?"

"Yeah…" he mumbled.

"What was that?" she asked frantically.

"I don't know…" he said softly.

"Wait!" he suddenly said, "Kate, the timer's stopped! It's stopped ticking! Kate –"

The shocks from the explosion went straight to her bones, the shattered glass of his windows falling down onto the concrete like rain, landing in sheets. The fire started to flicker out of his windows.

She heard the horrified gasp of a few people in the crowd, the terrified intake of breath that came from Jenny, the swears from Ryan and Esposito, the shouts immediately coming from the fire department to try and stop the flames, felt the way Lanie's grip on her arm tightened.

But Kate stopped hearing them.

"CASTLE!"


	2. Chapter 2

She continued to look at the blaze, her eyes wide.

"No," she said, shaking her head, "No. No! NO!"

She realized her phone was still in her hand and she lifted it back to her ear.

"Castle?" she called into it, "Rick? Are you there? Castle!"

No answer.

Kate heard the voices of the firefighters, talking about how it was unsafe to go up to get him yet.

She felt Lanie's nails dig into her arm, knowing what Kate was about to do.

It didn't stop her.

She ripped her arm from Lanie's grasp, feeling the doctor's nails scratch across the fabric of her blouse as she ducked under the police tape, bolting towards the building.

Did they realize who they were leaving inside?

"Hey!" a fireman shouted as she ran past.

"You can't go in there!" Another screamed.

"Somebody stop her!"

But they were all dressed, ready to go into a fire, their heavy suits wearing them down and she was dressed light, hadn't even grabbed her jacket when she rushed away from the precinct, wasn't even wearing heels because she had rolled her ankle the day before. She had a start on them, was already at his door, throwing it open and running straight for the emergency stairwell on the side. She quickly ran up to the fifth floor, panting, unable to catch her breath.

Is this what he had felt like when her apartment was blown up? When she was inside? When he was the one running up the stairs, anxious to find what was waiting for him when he got there? Did he feel the same overwhelming and almost violent need to be the first one up those steps, into that apartment, and finding the person on the other side?

Kate wrenched open the entrance to his floor, ran over to his door where the smoke was already percolating into the hallway from underneath. She unthinkingly grabbed doorknob, rescinding her hand quickly at the burn that shot through her hand.

The loft was on fire.

_He_ was on fire.

They had seen the damage that the bomb had done to their first victim's apartment…

No.

He was _not_ a victim.

He couldn't be.

Kate pushed herself back, eyes quickly locating the soft spot on the door. She lifted her leg and kicked the door.

It didn't open.

So she kicked it again, grunting as her foot once again made contact with the wood, swearing under her breath at Castle for having such a solid door.

It still didn't budge. She kicked it one last time, frustrated tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes until the lock finally splintered underneath the pressure, swinging open into the loft.

The cloud of smoke that blew into her face shouldn't have been a surprise, but it caught her off guard, made her eyes burn as the cloud quickly began to fill the hallway and her lungs filled with tainted air. She heard the smoke detector go off in the hallway, felt the sprinklers turn on, trying to douse out the smoke.

She pushed her way into the loft, coughing, trying to get the taste of ash out of her mouth.

"Castle!" she called weakly, "Rick!"

She could hardly see anything, the dust from the explosion still hovering in the air combined with the smoke from the fire that was burning somewhere deeper in the loft.

Somewhere closer to him.

She put a hand out, flinching as her palms made contact with the sharp points of his furniture, making her way as quickly as she could through the loft, crouching down as low as she could, trying to make her way to his office.

Kate heard the beeping of his own smoke detector, the sound of the fire crackling and sparking on random pieces of his furniture wherever the flame could touch. She felt glass crunching under her feet, her toes hitting solid things and kicking them across his hardwood floors.

She quickly realized that they were books.

_His _books.

On fire.

She eventually found the entry to his office, nearly on the ground as she forced herself deeper into the cloud of smoke. She coughed again, still calling out for him, hoping that he would respond.

"Castle!"

Kate ignored his charred desk chair, his burning desk, stepped over the door to his room that had been blown off its hinges from the blast, and finally made it to his bedroom.

The smoke was so bad that she could only make out vague shapes.

"Rick!"

His bed was on fire. The tables by his bed were on fire. His curtains were on fire. His ceiling was on fire.

The heat was overwhelming. The smoke filling her lungs made it hard to breathe and forced her down onto the ground where the air was slightly clearer. She opened her mouth and coughed again, the debris scratching the back of her throat, the tears trying to keep her eyes safe from the contaminated air continually falling down her cheeks as she reached out her hands, army crawling across his floor.

"Castle!" she coughed, "Rick!"

Her hand touched something.

She wrapped her hand around the object, her fingers brushing against loose fabric, it felt like denim, something solid underneath.

His ankle.

"Rick!" she released on a breath.

The relief at finding him was tampered however.

He still hadn't moved.

He was halfway in the bathroom, his upper half inside the small room next to his vanity, his legs still sticking out into the room. She stood up, giving him a quick once over. Deciding nothing looked broken, she rolled him over.

He didn't make a sound.

She knelt down by his head, leaning down quickly in the smoke, her hands fluttering over his face, taking in the cuts and bruises forming across his brow and cheeks.

"Castle!"

Two of her fingers found his pulse point tentatively, closing her eyes and biting her lip, sending up a silent plea to whoever was listening to feel something beneath her fingers.

It was there.

It was there and it was strong.

She nearly cried in relief.

He was just unconscious.

She pulled one of her hands away from his head, more shocked than she should've been to see blood on her fingers.

Okay, he was unconscious and bleeding.

Kate coughed again.

They needed to get out of there.

Kate kept coughing, unable to catch her breath.

They needed to get out of there _now_.

Kate stood up, taking in his ripped jeans and button down, looking for a way out of the loft.

She'd never be able to carry him out.

But surely she could drag him.

She thought about the glass she'd be dragging him through, the broken lights and the splintered wood and the burning books, not wanting to hurt him anymore than he already was.

As another coughing fit overtook her, she realized she had no choice.

Moving back towards his ankles, she grasped them firmly and pulled as hard as she could, yanking him all the way out of the bathroom.

Then she turned him around, grabbed him under his biceps and started pulling him towards the door.

She tried her best to stay as low to the ground as possible, kicking things out of the way with her feet as she shuffled backwards. She was sweating by the time she made it to the door into his office, grunting as she lifted him up slightly to get him over the fallen door, dragging him across it. She couldn't stop coughing, dragging him through the smoky loft. She felt herself start getting lightheaded as she pulled him around his kitchen, and she had to stop for a moment to keep herself from falling over.

She heard something crash in the other room, closed her eyes as the sound echoed in her ears.

Another crash.

"No…" she mumbled to herself, "… come on."

She kept pulling him.

She'd gotten this far. She wasn't going to fail now.

She started dragging him through the apartment again.

She refused to call Martha and tell her that her son was dead.

She refused to tell Alexis that her father wasn't coming home, that her home was _gone_.

And she was not going to let him… _them_ die here.

She fell in front of the coat closet, her feet slipping on the dusty floor, the center of her back hitting the table by the door with a loud thud. She cried out in pain, which quickly turned into another cough, before she picked herself back up through the pain.

No, not when she was this close.

The hallway was cooler, but no less dusty, the water making the air around her heavy.

She dragged him to the end of the hallway, opened the door to the emergency stairwell.

Oh, the stairs.

Something that sounded suspiciously like a sob burst past her lips.

She had forgotten about the stairs. There was no way she would be able to pull him down the steps, not without seriously hurting one, if not both of them.

God if only he was awake.

She knelt down beside him, her head spinning but she ignored it. She ran her fingers gently over his head.

"Rick… Castle, come on. I need you to wake up. Please… come on."

He groaned slightly.

"Yes," she whispered excitedly, "Rick... please. Wake up."

He didn't respond again.

She held his head in both of her hands, but it felt heavy in her hands.

"Help," she called, her vision going blurry, "Help!"

"Beckett?"


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm fine, really I am."

The EMT that was working on her ignored her.

Kate was already sitting upright, holding up the oxygen mask that was feeding her fresh air through her nose, rolling her eyes at the EMT that was holding a stethoscope to her back, checking the sound of her lungs.

She honestly felt fine, though that may have been the remnants of the adrenaline still pulsing through her veins. As soon as she had gotten out of the building, half-supporting herself on Ryan as he and Esposito helped get Castle down the stairs (god, she didn't know if she had ever been so happy to hear them calling for her). The EMTs were waiting for them as soon as they got outside, immediately separating Kate and Rick into their own ambulances.

The only thing she had heard about him had come from Lanie who had told her that none of the injuries he sustained were life threatening, and he was responsive, his pupils dilating efficiently at the presence of light, so they were treating him on the scene.

(She may have also gotten the stink eye from Lanie before she left to which Kate swore they would go out for drinks as soon as everything settled down and she would tell her everything she wanted to know about her and Castle, which appeased the M.E. slightly.)

The EMT moved his stethoscope further down her back, to the place where she had fallen into the table and she flinched at the pressure.

That was going to be a nasty bruise.

She heard someone clear her throat at the entrance of the ambulance before she felt the familiar rock of someone stepping inside, moving to sit down on the bench opposite of her.

"Detective Beckett."

She looked up and saw the FDNY Chief sitting in front of her, his posture defensive, his jaw clenched.

Kate nodded, removed the oxygen mask from her face.

"Sir."

They sat in an awkward silence for a moment.

"I could have you arrested," he said finally.

Kate raised her eyebrow, silently scoffing at him.

She ran inside that building to save her partner, a bestselling author and friend of the mayor's life.

He really thinks he's going to find a cop that will arrest her?

"Not only did you run into an unsecured building," he continued, "you could have very well endangered my men who were running in there after you."

Kate actually scoffed.

"Well, that was my man in there," Kate said, trying to keep the edge of her voice, inwardly cringing at how that statement could be construed, "and your men didn't come into help me get him out. Those were _my_ men who risked their lives to help me and my partner. Not yours."

"It was impulsive," he insisted.

"I'm not saying it wasn't," Kate replied, fighting the urge to roll her eyes, "but if it meant getting my partner to safety? I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

The man continued to stare at her blankly, as if that would make her suddenly remorseful for what she had done.

"I'm not going to apologize for that," Kate said, shaking her head.

The man opened his mouth to speak.

"Detective Beckett," a voice interrupted.

Kate looked over and saw Gates, standing by the back of the ambulance, half leaning against the side. Kate closed her eyes, dreading the lashing she was going to get from Gates for this stunt: for making the NYPD look impulsive, for being in a romantic relationship with her partner.

And she had just started to get back into Gates' good graces.

"Chief," Gates said, looking at the man sitting across from her, "I can assure you that I know how to discipline my detectives. I don't need you to do it for me."

The man shifted uncomfortably under Gates' stare before standing up, shooting one last look back at Kate.

"Don't do it again," he warned before walking away.

Kate rolled her eyes.

She couldn't help it.

As if she ever wanted to be in this situation again.

Gates turned back to Kate.

"That was a reckless thing you did back there, Detective."

Kate pursed her lips, looking down at her lap as the EMT removed the stethoscope from her back and took back the oxygen mask in her hands. Apparently she was good to go.

"But I understand why you did it."

Kate looked back at Gates who was holding out a water bottle towards her. Gates put it on the floor of the ambulance and slid it over towards Kate's feet. Kate leaned over, picked it up, and opened it, taking a large swig, the water soothing her dry throat. She put the cap back on top of it, watching as she rolled the bottle between her hands.

"Mr. Castle is awake, Detective."

Kate's eyes snapped back to Gates who was looking at her with a soft smile on her face.

"And he's asking for you."

Kate was out of the ambulance as soon as Gates finished her sentence, brushing past her, her heart beating quickly inside her chest.

He was awake.

He was awake!

She passed Ryan, Jenny, Javier, and Lanie as she moved over to his ambulance which was parked farther down the street (where less people were gathered, she realized somewhere in the back of her mind. In case something went wrong and they needed to get him to a hospital as quickly as possible). She could feel their stares in her back as she approached his ambulance.

She let out a sigh of relief as she saw him.

One of the EMTs working on him, patching up one of the cuts on his face (the other man holding the IV bag and looking at his watch) saw her first.

"Kate Beckett?" He said.

Rick lifted his head quickly, his eyes searching to find her.

"Kate," he breathed in relief, a smile spreading across his face.

She felt the tears spring to her eyes involuntarily at the sound of his voice.

She swallowed them back, unwilling to let them fall as she climbed up into the back of the ambulance, reaching out and grasping his hand, sitting on the bench the EMTs weren't sitting on.

"Hey," she whispered. Kate brought her free hand up and swiped it across his brow tenderly, brushing some of his hair back off his face, "how're you feeling?"

"Alright," he said, closing his eyes at her touch, "a little bit of a headache."

She smiled at him, glad he was feeling _something _rather than nothing at all.

"Do you remember what happened?"

She saw his eyes squeeze tighter in concentration.

"I remember being on the phone… talking to you. And then… the timer stopped ticking. I started moving into the bathroom… and then I remember waking up right here."

Kate nodded.

"They told me you went up there and dragged me out?"

Kate shrugged, trying to keep the mood light.

He was awake.

He was alive.

"Well, you've done it for me before. Figured I should return the favor."

He smiled at her, squeezing her hand.

"But you were conscious."

"And naked."

"Believe me, I remember."

She rolled her eyes at him but continued to smile at him all the same.

"Thank you," he whispered.

She just squeezed his hand.

"Oh!" he said suddenly, "I remember something else."

She looked at him expectantly. Anything he could remember could put them one step closer to solving this case and putting the person who did it behind bars.

Although she was sure she was going to be kicked off this case now.

No matter.

He smiled at her.

"You told me that when I got out of there, you'd let me kiss you."

She narrowed her eyes at him, but there was no heat behind it.

That would be what he really remembered about their conversation.

She scrunched up her nose at him.

"Did I say that?" she teased.

"Mhm," he affirmed with a smile.

"Well… I seem to remember saying that it would be in front of everyone."

"I think there's a good chance they're watching," Rick said.

Rick lifted his head and Kate looked out of the back of the ambulance. Sure enough, all four sets of eyes were watching them from outside.

Kate rolled her eyes and them and turned her attention back to him.

"So can I?" he asked.

"Can you what?" she said, playing coy.

"Kiss you."

"I don't know… can you?"

"_May_ I kiss you?"

She let out a quiet, unladylike snort, "I wasn't looking to correct your grammar," she said, looking over at the EMTs, wanting to make sure that his breathing was normal enough and he was in good enough shape to go without oxygen for a couple of seconds.

And yes, she was probably just being a little overcautious.

But he had just been in an explosion.

The man smiled at her and nodded, respectfully diverting his attention to a burn on Rick's arm and the man holding the IV bag focused his attention on the incredibly interesting clear liquid inside of it.

Kate stood up, the hand still resting in his hair moving down to cup his cheek. She leaned over him, brushing her nose against his.

"I'm so happy you're okay," she whispered.

"Me, too," he whispered, angling his face towards her, his eyes shining, staring into her own, squeezing her hand again, "Me, too."

She smiled at him, the smile that told him just how much she loved him without saying the words, and pressed her lips softly to his.

* * *

_Salamandrine: being capable of resisting heat or existing in fire._


End file.
